See what I did there? You thought I was going to say “How the F*ck do you milk an almond”, didn’t you? We like to keep it PG around here…eeehh, sometimes. Anyway. Almonds don’t even have b**bs…well, you know what i mean. So what the HECK. How do you milk an almond, why would you even bother to make your own in the first place?

MOST store-bought almond milks have crazy additives, preservatives, ingredients you can’t pronounce (aka you probably shouldn’t be eating them) and like 10 different kinds of sugar. Not kidding. If that ain’t a reason enough to try making your own, besides the fact that it’s totally easy AND tastes so incredibly fresh and delicious, I don’t know what else I can tell you.

IT’S DELICIOUS.

Plus! A serving of almond milk also has a good whack (about 30% of the RDA) of calcium (oh hey great for those of us who are lactose intolerant or not consuming any dairy AND should really be eating more calcium-rich veggies like kale…duh.) and a good bit of Vitamin D as well. Which, let’s be honest, we all need a little more vitamin D in our lives!

All you need is some almonds, filtered water, a nut milk bag (I recommend this one – it’s HUGE and awesome), a big bowl, and a glass container to store your so-fresh-so-clean almond milk! *p.s. make sure to wash your nut milk bag in warm water + soap, then air dry, before the first use.

Let’s do this and make some nut juice. Bet you couldn’t read that with a straight face, now could you?? But seriously, I think everyone just calls it almond milk because they can’t say “nut juice” with a straight face. Thoughts?

Step 1: Soak 2 cups of almonds overnight (at least for 8 hours), or for up to 2 days in a glass jar filled with water about 1 inch above the almonds. The longer you soak them and the plumper they become, the more silky smooth (and more like 2% milk) your almond milk will become!

Step 2: Drain and rinse the almonds in a colander or fine mesh strainer. Through this process you’re removing the phytic acid from the almonds – think of it as the natural barrier to the goodness inside, which can be hard on a lot of peoples’ digestive systems. 

Step 3: Combine the almonds with 4 cups of filtered, fresh water in a blender. Pulse a few times, then blend on HIGH for 2 minutes.

Step 4: place the nut milk bag over a large bowl, and pour all the almond milk in. Use your hands to squeeze all the liquid out of the bag (this may take some muscles!), then set the bag and the remaining almond ‘pulp’ aside.

You’re done! Feel free to blend in some flavor boosters, like 1 tsp vanilla extract (or get fancy with some vanilla bean!), some cinnamon or nutmeg, or 1-2 Tbsp sweetener like maple syrup, honey, or coconut sugar!

Wondering how to use your fresh new almond milk? Try these recipes out!

Hawaiian Chia Pudding
Mango Ginger Green Smoothie
Mocha Banana Protein Smoothie
Paleo Chocolate Banana Cream Pie

Pro tip: You can also use these nut milk bags as a coffee strainer (like for making cold brew coffee!) and juicing!